Answer:
I can't, or won't say that I know how you feel. But I'm where I think you might be. Have been ill for years and see no end to these chronic illnesses.
My husband keeps saying not to give up, and my friends say that they admire me for always having such a bright disposition in face of the odds.
But, most of the time that's a facade. I only act "cheery" and positive because no one likes to be around someone "negative" all the time. It's also my nature, but I'm getting tired.
I'm not really sure what to do, so I guess I'm not helping you get out of your funk. It would be easy to say my life is a 'lost cause,' but I do have things, not many, that I can call my own that inspire me to keep going.
Obviously, you have a computer; explore the many things on the Internet. Does it help that you have a roof over your head AND even though feedings are through a G-tube, that you have access to food, and can afford a computer? Have you tried writing or journaling-great outlets for your feelings?
On the other hand, if you haven't already, I'd also tell your psychiatrist and counselor just what you told me.
I wish you the best. I have found that there is always something that makes life worth living. In my case, my husband, my dog (both of whom give unconditional love) and my writing.
All being said, Audrey had good advice that maybe you're here for those of us who feel the same as you. Allow yourself to dream about what you could have if you didn't have the nervosa and depression. Push the envelope and dare to dream
I'm sorry for the way you feel right now. and wish I could help you. All I can think to say to you is. If you have a dream, something you have always wanted to do but never had the chance. try to find a way to follow that dream, no matter how crazy the dream may seem to other people. I don't think your life is a lost cause. GOD put you on this EARTH for a purpose, it's up to you to find that purpose, maybe that purpose was just to write to me? I often need someone to talk to as well, otherwise I wouldn't be sitting writing on my computer. My husband is usually too busy with his own "stuff" to bother just having a conversation with me. I have been on Fluoxetine for 5 years for depression, so I think I have an idea where you are coming from, so maybe here's your reason to live... to keep ME alive. Thank you for giving me a few minutes of your time.
i would advise that you pray and get a good relationship with whichever deity that you claim. It is not worth ending your life, i promise. All i can say is for you to pray. And if that doesnt sound like a good idea to you, seek out hypnotherapy. I hear that it works for all kinds of things.
I hope you the best
yes.
i do feel those feelings.i have self medicated myself for most of my life.
the best thing that i do to line up my mind is stay busy with my hands.you see;i have found my worth in one small way.
i am good. very good at repairing cars .i may be f'd up;but i can fix anything on any car.in fact i'm a 30 year veteran mechanic/ technician / contortionist. a little over a year ago i started bicycling 20 miles a day to work and back.of course recently i had to modify to a motorised bicycle. i had to do it.he he. it is very exciting to ride being top speed is around 45 mph.(death ride speed on a bicycle)my point is that i.ve learned to modify my thoughts or my thinking for the better.
if i cheat myself and end it all.i might not be here when im supposed to be.thus missing my appointment with my purpose in life.know what im saying?
i also never let on when im on a downer.it makes folks treat you wrongly.i want to live what i have and i want to live with others sometimes . sympathy ai'nt livin. know what im saying.have fun!