Answer:
With a oiled plastic bag, down screwing in the bed!
Draw off the brush and put your penis inside the vacuum tube!
Etc. etc..
Use one of them machines that you milk cows with?
I place my hand gripping my weiner on the edge of the sofa, and thrust like having real sex until I come. Share yours too!
Jackinworld.com gives you one of the best ways I have found. take a banana cut the two ends off, then cut the peal down one side so the peal is still in one peace. then rap the peal around you penis. Now grip your penis like you would normally and go to it. the feeling is SOOOOO awesome!!
haha i used to get one of those sandwich baggies and fill it with either vaseline or a lot of lotion. then i would slip my penis into it, then stick it in between the couch cushions and pump away. then when i was done, i just tossed it. feels great.